I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize