What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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