ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize