I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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