My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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