What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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