hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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