Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize