wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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