I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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