I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize