nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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