dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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