I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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