She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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