Soap is not a condiment
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize