I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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