3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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