I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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