I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize