his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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