Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize