do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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