Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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