This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
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When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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