I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
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Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
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Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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