im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize