seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize