I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize