So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
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My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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