the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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