38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
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Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
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I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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