Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize