There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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