Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?

  (325): View more from Texas

  Because you touch yourself at night.

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  (480): Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working? (325): Because you touch yourself at night. http://tfl.nu/lm5u
  Replies (14) Good night (2995) Bad night (714)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i think i have two assholes

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  (330): i think i have two assholes http://tfl.nu/b4sn
  Replies (67) Good night (680) Bad night (4475) Order T-Shirt
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"

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  (337): Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop" http://tfl.nu/felz
  Replies (19) Good night (4887) Bad night (2270) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out

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  (619): i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out http://tfl.nu/smzd
  Replies (20) Good night (563) Bad night (3261) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"

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  (203): So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?" http://tfl.nu/t9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (4932) Bad night (1280) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.

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  (650): I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it. http://tfl.nu/8v3x
  Replies (5) Good night (3996) Bad night (904) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.

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  (774): It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world. http://tfl.nu/7olx
  Replies (16) Good night (2576) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.

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  (816): I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird. http://tfl.nu/t4fk
  Replies (2) Good night (1234) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.

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  (316): You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath. http://tfl.nu/tem9
  Replies (2) Good night (1509) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK

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  (902): dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK http://tfl.nu/n8o2
  Replies (13) Good night (1178) Bad night (983) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.

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  (707): admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it. http://tfl.nu/03xs
  Replies (2) Good night (1877) Bad night (506)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window

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  (309): well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window http://tfl.nu/010r
  Replies (12) Good night (391) Bad night (856) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it

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  (614): I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it http://tfl.nu/e9vj
  Replies (5) Good night (1257) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.

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  (503): Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be. http://tfl.nu/kby8
  Replies (5) Good night (472) Bad night (1038) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about

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  (860): Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about http://tfl.nu/vmss
  Replies (3) Good night (166) Bad night (369) Order T-Shirt

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