you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
birth control should be required to get into college
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize