last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
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When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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