you didnt know i had herpes?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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