Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize