this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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