We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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