I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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