I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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