Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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