if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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