how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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