you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize