i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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