this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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