A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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